Monthly Archives: March 2009

Cluelessness

There Are No Stupid Questions

But There Are a LOT of Inquisitive Idiots

 

As you know if you have kept up, I started a test blog to learn how to link social networking to business development. Recently, I have added some developments, as follows:

 

On the LAFFS blog, I’ve added a section called DEMOTIVATORS, inspired by http://despair.com/

 

You’ve seen beautiful photographs coupled with utterly ridiculous versions of impossible notions and platitudinous psychobabble; they’re ubiquitous in today’s corporate ivory towers… DEMOVITATORS turns that nonsense on its ear while elevating insensitivity to its logical conclusion. 

 

If you’re a hypersensitive ninny, you’ll need to thicken your skin to enjoy these pearls of real wisdom from our friends at despair.com.

 

I have also added a new business and general interest blog, http://jeffnix.wordpress.com/

It has now and will be expanded to include business as well as personal interest topics inserted as categories.

 

Click to the blogs to enjoy this experimental; slice of life,

 

Jeff Nix

jeffnix@gmail.com

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tenjooberrymuds!

breakfast
By the time you read through this you will understand tenjooberrymuds…  In order to continue getting-by in America we will all need to learn the revised English language!

 

 Practice by reading the following  conversation until you are able to understand the term “tenjooberrymuds”.
With a little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!!

Now, here goes…

The following is a *telephone* exchange between a *hotel* guest and  room-service:

Room Service (RS): “Morrin.  Roon sirbees.”

Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

RS: ” Rye.  Roon sirbees…morrin!  Joowish to oddor sunteen???”

G: “Uh…..  Yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs.”

RS: “Ow July den?”

G: “…..What??”

RS: “Ow July den?!?…  Pryed, boyud, poochd?”

G: “Oh, the eggs!  How do I like them?  Sorry…  Scrambled, please.”

RS: “Ow July dee baykem?  Crease?”

G: “Crisp will be fine.”

RS: “Hokay.  An Sahn toes?”

G: “What?”

RS: “An toes.  July Sahn toes?”

G: “I…  Don’t think so”

RS: “No?  Judo wan sahn toes???”

G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”

RS: “Toes!  Toes!…Why Joo don Juan toes?  Ow bow Anglish moppin we

Bodder?”

G: “Oh, English muffin!!!  I’ve got it!  You were saying ‘toast’…

Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RS: “We bodder?”

G: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”

RS: “Wad?!?”

G: “I mean butter…  Just put the butter on the side.”

RS: “Copy?”

G: “Excuse me?”

RS: “Copy…tea…meel?”

G: “Yes.  Coffee, please…  And that’s everything.”

RS: “One Minnie.  Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on

Sigh and copy..  Rye??”

G: “Whatever you say.”

RS: “Tenjooberrymuds.”

G: “You’re welcome.”

 

 

 

GENERATORS: tools you can use – Etch-a-Sketch

http://www.caption.it/create/sketchy.php

Check this out and have fun

Also there are other similar user friendly generators on this parent site.

Jeff

etch-example

The weekend is upon us – 3/13/09

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More Facebook silliness… 25 Random Things

From the uselessness of facebook  department,  this post is a partial reprint from our friends at Despair.com…  enjoy ( And buy a shirt from them!)

I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW 1 RANDOM THING ABOUT YOU.

It’s become one of the fastest moving fads in the history of social networking. In one week’s time, over 5 million narcissists, braggarts, exhibitionists, and serial jabbermouths have posted notes to Facebook, disclosing “25 random things” about themselves to their online network of family, friends, friends-of-friends, and of course more than a few pseudo-friends who are just keeping up appearances because they lacked the guts to decline a “friend invite”. All the while, these very same people are exposing their dirty laundry, trivial observations, unsolicited fantasies, yawn-inducing confessions, white-washed biographical highlight reels and probably a hefty share of outright lies to an armada of sexual deviants, unstable stalkers, future blackmailers, potentially nefarious foreign and domestic intelligence agencies, and a legion of marketing bots- all of which are probably paying closer attention than those the list was intended for (for reasons best left unmentioned).

Just what kind of “random things” have been revealed via this mass act of egotistical disgorgement? Why, a friend of journalist Dan Zak of the Washington Post confessed, “I have pooped my pants more than three times as an adult.” Dallasite Mandy Aguilar reveals, “…my dog kisses me on the mouth. It’s cool.” An associate of Time magazine reporter Claire Suddath inexplicably revealed, “I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur.”

Multiple the pointlessness and puerility of those three disclosures times 41.6 million- and you’ll begin to get a sense of the sheer enormity of this catastrophe. Has there ever been a greater amount of trivial idiocy manufactured in a smaller amount of time and then forced upon a greater number of victims in the history of human civilization? Okay, besides the blogosophere then?

Unlikely.   

randomwail

Get your T shirt here

The Weekend is upon us – Enjoy!

onionmagazine_archive_166a_0-balloons

Original URL = http://www.theonion.com/content/magazine/pretty_balloons_where_are_they

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy… -Video

This is a 4 minute video that points out just how far we’ve come with technology and the attendant ingratitude that is the inevitable result. Enjoy it.