Category Archives: General Good Humor

Absurd New Razor

From the Ridiculous new items, intended to separate you from your greenbacks department…

We have the amazing Rolling Razor.

razor

Ok, here are the world changing claims:

Rolling Razor, Changing Shaving Forever!

The most advanced shaving technology in over a century. The multi-directional Rolling Razor for men was engineered to intuitively apply the perfect amount of pressure to the area being shaved. A man can effectively shave his face, neck and head without painful scraping and irritation. Completely customize your shave and be sure to find the Rolling Razor model that best fits your personality.

  • Designed for ultra precision and control
  • Easy to use. Flows with your natural motion
  • Faster Shave by using dual heads
  • Non-Slip Rubber Grip helps prevent slipping
  • 3 long lasting precision blades on each convex cartridge
  • Stylish look with a bonus designer base
  • Easy cartridge replacement
  • Travel with comfort by using the safety guard (included)

Price : $14.95     I’ll take two, HERE

My prediction:  One year shelf life, then QVC, then 1.99 at the BIG LOTS

Ok it has a great site, nice photos, good overall idea but the product.. Well, I “found” it on or about 5/15/09… Check back in a year and see if it is still as amazing as they claim.

/\__/\
 (=’.’=)
 (“)_(“)

If possible, The world domination bunny would give this two thumbs down!

PS, They make em for chicks too!

razor-hers

Memories of Etchasketchistan

When I was a but a yute, whilst traveling the world during my dad’s stint with the international zig zag attachment association,  (IZZA)  we lived for a short while in small country of Etchasketchistan. It was there I discovered the unparallel wonders and unending joys of the dual knob wonder called the Dial O writer. Eventually, the toy gained world wide acclaim and the local government changed the toy’s name to Etch-a-Sketch.

 

From that memorable time spent with the amazing time consuming and not-so-educational mechanical inscription device until now I have been fascinated with the toy. In what will very likely be the crowning event of my professional career I am currently on track to become the President of the International Etch-a-Sketch Association in 2018

 

For your own Etch-a-Sketch skip through memory lane, you can play around with a new electronic but 63% realistic version at this link:  http://www.etchy.org/ 

etch-jeff-nix

tenjooberrymuds!

breakfast
By the time you read through this you will understand tenjooberrymuds…  In order to continue getting-by in America we will all need to learn the revised English language!

 

 Practice by reading the following  conversation until you are able to understand the term “tenjooberrymuds”.
With a little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!!

Now, here goes…

The following is a *telephone* exchange between a *hotel* guest and  room-service:

Room Service (RS): “Morrin.  Roon sirbees.”

Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

RS: ” Rye.  Roon sirbees…morrin!  Joowish to oddor sunteen???”

G: “Uh…..  Yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs.”

RS: “Ow July den?”

G: “…..What??”

RS: “Ow July den?!?…  Pryed, boyud, poochd?”

G: “Oh, the eggs!  How do I like them?  Sorry…  Scrambled, please.”

RS: “Ow July dee baykem?  Crease?”

G: “Crisp will be fine.”

RS: “Hokay.  An Sahn toes?”

G: “What?”

RS: “An toes.  July Sahn toes?”

G: “I…  Don’t think so”

RS: “No?  Judo wan sahn toes???”

G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”

RS: “Toes!  Toes!…Why Joo don Juan toes?  Ow bow Anglish moppin we

Bodder?”

G: “Oh, English muffin!!!  I’ve got it!  You were saying ‘toast’…

Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RS: “We bodder?”

G: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”

RS: “Wad?!?”

G: “I mean butter…  Just put the butter on the side.”

RS: “Copy?”

G: “Excuse me?”

RS: “Copy…tea…meel?”

G: “Yes.  Coffee, please…  And that’s everything.”

RS: “One Minnie.  Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on

Sigh and copy..  Rye??”

G: “Whatever you say.”

RS: “Tenjooberrymuds.”

G: “You’re welcome.”

 

 

 

Size Does Matter

title-sizedoesmatter2

Size Does Matter
 

 

 

“Welcome to Burgerama may I take your order?”

“Yeah, give me a Double Cheeseburger combo to go.”

“Would you like to super-size that for only 39 cents?”

“Sure.”

“Would you like to extra-super-size that for another 39 cents?”

“Huh?”

“Would you like to extra-super-size your meal for 39 cents?”

“Didn’t I just do that?”

“No, you only super-sized it.”

“There’s more?”

“For another 39 cents, you can get a 32 oz. soda and Mondo-sized fries.”

“What am I getting now?”

“A 24 oz. Soda and Bigman-sized fries.”

“24 oz.? That’s super-sized? That sounds like a medium.”

“We don’t have mediums, sir.”

“You don’t?”

“No, sir.”

“How many sizes of sodas do you have?”

“We have 3.”

“OK, give me a large.”

“That’s only 16 oz.”

“I thought it was 32 oz.”

“That’s not the large.”

“You have a size larger than a large?”

“It’s Mondo-sized!”

“Look, you have three sizes of drink. You have your smallest drink, your medium-sized drink, and your largest drink. Small, medium, large. Give me the large.”

“The large size is the small size.”

“OK, then give me the small.”

“We don’t have a small size.”

“16 oz. seems pretty damn small to me.”

“That’s the large.”

“Look. I want the size of soda that will give me the greatest amount of actual liquid in the cup.”

“We have large, Bigman and Mondo.”

“Bigman is larger than Mondo?”

“No. Mondo’s the biggest.”

“OK, give me a Mondo.”

“Do you want Mondo fries?”

“Are they based on the same naming conventions as the sodas?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let me ask you this. If I ordered a simple Double Cheeseburger Combo, and super-sized it. What would I get?”

“One Double Cheeseburger, Bigman fries and a 24oz. Soda.”

“And that’s super-sized?”

“Yes, sir.”

“So a normal, everyday Double Cheeseburger Combo is, like, a kiddie’s meal?”

“No, the Children’s Special Value Meal comes with Bigman fries and a 24 oz. soda.”

“The kiddie’s meal is bigger than the regular adult combo?”

“Uhm… yeah.”

“How much is it?”

“20 cents more than a regular combo.”

“But it’s the same size as a super-sized combo, which is 39 cents more?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I have a Kiddie’s meal?”

“You want a super-sized combo? Sure.”

“No, I want the Kiddie’s meal, which is the same thing, but 19 cents less. Plus a coloring mat.”

“You can’t have a Children’s Special Value Meal.”

“Why not?”

“You’re an adult.”

“So I have to spend more money?”

“…yes.”

“Tell you what. Here’s a five-dollar bill. Why don’t you give me as much food as you can for this five dollar bill.”

“Uhm.. OK. Do you want to super-size your order for another 39 cents?”

“Sure.”

“OK. One moment.”

Original Source – From our good humor friends at TheBrunching Shuttlecocks – http://www.brunching.com/sizedoesmatter.html